Neil Close Up

Does anyone even still read this?

I don't know if anyone still reads this or not. I rarely ever post.

BUT today is my birthday, and here I am.

*blows noisemaker*

I don't really have anything to update. I'm still having problems, moreso then I was before. I barely have time to make anything on the computer.

Really, I just finally downloaded a GIF program today. And don't know where to begin.

I don't remember all the tools I had before.

I don't even know if I can get them again.

But anyway, on Tumblr now.

shanieomaniac is my url.

I miss all you guys. Lilith I still talk to on AIM, Jamie and Donne sometimes I see on Tumblr. Clocketpatch, though. I miss you lots. You got a tumblr, or AIM? I'd love to talk to you.

I'm sure there are others on here that I'm forgetting. It's been so long.

I miss all my peeples. *HUGS*

Well, till next time.

shoulder dance

So yeah, I'm alive

You know, I never post anymore. Maybe it's because most of my friends have stopped reading, maybe it's because I don't have much to post anymore. But the thing is, life has been tough lately. And at the same time, wonderful.

Mike and I broke up. But that really hasn't changed a thing. More it was a break up of title only. I'm not his girlfriend, he's not my boyfriend. We still have dinner dates, run errands together, kiss, hug, love each other to bits, and pretty much do everything that we did when we were a couple. Only, we're not. It's really an odd combination. Our actions haven't changed, just the title. I think mainly it's because there was too much drama to be an official couple. Now, if we fight (which sometimes happens) we just let it go at it doesn't matter because we aren't dating.

My therapist thinks I'm full of shit though.

She says you can't have a relationship with someone without being their significant other. I tried to tell her we are casual but then she brought up the whole "Well, are you spending time with other people" thing and I had to say, no we are exclusive, and yes he gets jealous (very) when I hang out with other guys. So basically, we're a couple in everything but title. When people ask, my response is always "It's complicated." and they usually shut up about it.

Been buying dvds to rebuild my collection. Recently bought Sherlock Series 1 (It hasn't arrived yet, and don't get me started on my rant about how we have to wait till May for series 2. Yes, I know it hasn't even aired here yet, No I don't care, No it doesn't really matter because in the age of internet most everyone who wants to see it has already seen it.) I decided to take the leap and buy a Doctor Who Classic DVD, but I'm waiting till next month to do it. I'm getting The Daemons which is frankly my favorite Pertwee ep.

Also bought X-Men First Class, as well as X2. The first is just a shipper fangirl worship tribute of a movie and the second just kicks all sorts of ass. Oh, and YES I ship Charles/Erik now. After XMFC, there was no way I could NOT. I may have to dig up my old GIFmaking tools  (Have to re-download them, new new computer and all) and make some eyesex GIFs. There's oh so much in that flick.

I'm also thinking of going to see Titanic 3D. I absolutely despise the movie and really couldn't care less about jack and rose but it's the Centennial and seeing the ship in 3D might be worth it. I'm already PISSED OFF that my mom went and made all day plans for me on the 14th, so I haven't a chance of staying up all night until the morning of the 15th. I had PLANS dammit. Plans that involved me digging out my old Night To Remember VHS and watching it. I still haven't sucked it up and spent the 40 Dollars for the DVD yet. I'm hoping the price will go down after the centennial. Probably not though. I could always go rent that special at the video store again, however last time, I made it almost to the end of disc 2 (of 3) and they were discussing salvage operations and I rage quit and took it back. Yet another topic not to get me started on. No, really. Do NOT get me started on the Titanic. Mike has made this mistake ONCE. The second time, he intentionally DIDN'T start, and it pissed me off anyway. I've learned that my fascination with historical events is just something not to be discussed or shared with him, along with anything computer related, moral quandries in video games, and any musical except Grease (The FIRST one ONLY). Maybe it's a good thing we aren't dating. Most of the stuff I'm interested in is in a DO NOT TOUCH zone with him.

That being said, it is late, I have a wonderful magazine I just bought about disasters that I want to read, and I think I've bent the internets cyber ear enough.

Until next time (Whenever that may be)



So, haven't posted in a bit. Well, let me rephrase that.

It has been awhile since I posted with any regularity. And yet I am still getting new followers now and then.

So, to make it seem like I still have interesting things to say (and to give a heads up to the folks who still pay attention from before) I am posting an update.

Where to start.

First off, my friend who I talked about in the last part made it through the surgery ok. Still not doing well overall, but he's still alive. (Shut up GlaDOS, did NOT ask for an interlude)

Anyway, He's alive and there is a new development in my world.

I have a new boyfriend.

Yes, yes, I know. Shanie, you just got rid of the last one! Well, this one sort of happened unexpectedly. And then there was much bonding through traumatic experiences. I sort of owe him my life and all.

Actually, remove the sort of. I would be dead if not for Mike.

To make a long and very nerve wracking story short, I had bronchitis. They prescribed me the strongest cough syrup they make to deal with it. Despite my hesitations (I knew better, but after asking the pharmasist point blank and getting the all clear,) I took it. Ten seconds later I entered into a bout of drug interaction that made that the worst night of my life. Thankfully I spent good chunks of it blacked out.

Nope, not unconscious. Blacked out. As in, I don't remember a thing despite being fully awake. According to Mike, I was mood shifting for about 30 minutes (one mood about every 5-30 seconds). Then I started having trouble breathing and asked to go to the hospital. By the time I got there my pupils were shrinking and growing non-stop which made it impossible to actually see anything. Somewhere along the way there I almost slipped into a coma. The last thing that happened was every muscle in my body had a freakout and started tightening until the point of tendon snapping.

Serotonin Syndrome is a BITCH.

The only thing that remained constant was Mike. He stayed with me all night. He didn't let me sleep when I wanted to. (I would have fallen into coma had I done so). He ran around the bed massaging my muscles in sequence when they locked up. He led me from place to place because I couldn't see where I was going.

He was even there for me the next day when the shock set in. (That's not a metaphor. about noon the next day, my body began to process the previous night and I went into shock)

Most of that night will always be a blank to me. To Mike, it is burned into his head. But see, that explains us perfectly. They say opposites attract. Usually they are absolutely wrong about that. But see, in our case, we are opposite sides of the same coin.

For example...

We both have OCD. Mine manifests in a paranoia about dirt that makes it hard for me to clean. His is an obsession with clean that forces him to always clean. Somehow, it seems to work.

In drinking alcohol. He can (and has) drunk himself to death, and upon reaching that state continued conversing with the parametics who couldn't understand how someone with that blood alcohol content was not in a coma, or dead.
I am a one drink drunk. One drink and I'm gone. My blood alcohol level is minimal, but with all the pills I am on, I am wasted.

We both have spending problems. Mine is I can't stop doing it. I have luxury tastes in a ghetto budget. He won't do it at all. He makes far more money than I do, but only shops at Dollar Tree.

In school. I can NOT do MATH. AT ALL. Really, I have friggin Math Phobia. Even basic math freaks me out. But I am quite a skilled reader.
Mike can do Math well. It's one of the only subjects he could do in school. But he's severely dyslexic and considers himself barely literate. It leads to a good deal of teamwork. For example, scratch off lotto tickets. I read him the rules for each one, then he can calculate any possible winnings in his head.

There is one thing about us that is identical though. Well two, sort of. We both have self esteem problems and we both would do anything for each other. He keeps trying to explain to me that he is broken, or damaged goods. I keep telling him that I was wrong from birth. But because we each help the other, it's never at the same time. I give him pep talks when he is down, and he's there to pick me up when I'm all symptomatic.

As for right now, he is in bed because he ended up with the Bronchitis I had last week. I told him not to kiss me while I was sick. Naturally he wouldn't listen to that little tidbit of logic.

All in all, I think there are good things in store this time around. I have never met anyone who compliments me as well as he does.

Did I mention I dated his brother in high school? For like 2 years? He claims he's loved me since then. Don't worry his brother is ok with it. Actually says good for me. I'm just hoping he STAYS ok with it. Mike's brother is a paranoid scitzophrenic, so his moods are rather changeable.

Till Next Time.

  • Current Mood
    excited excited
Neil Close Up

Writer's Block: What a wonderful word

What is your favorite word, and why?

Simple, and to the point. Three letters. NOW. I am not a patient person. If there is something I want I do not wish to wait for it.

People can look at that and say "Well, Shanie. That just means you are impulsive, or impatient." If you are one of those people and don't feel like being proven wrong, stop reading now. Or, if you don't have time for a long detailed read, stop now as well. However. There is a reason I am making this a writers block. Its so EVERYONE can see it. If you care, please read on.

Tomorrow one of my closest friends is going to have surgury. I can't explain what it does or why, just that it is to make his life better. Five years ago he was given TWO years to live. One month ago he was given TWO months. The operation has a 40% chance of death.

In other words, it is pretty much a coin toss if my friend will die tomorrow.

This has forced me to rethink some things about my life. (DUH)

First. I am nearly 30 and have no form of Advanced Care Directive. Now, 30 may seem young to do that sort of thing. However, when your mind is as MESSED up as mine is (4 confirmed mental illnesses, possibly a 5th punching its way through) there is no time like NOW.

NOW is something you can work on. LATER, you can't. Try as hard as you might, you can't control LATER without doing something about it NOW. (Changing BEFORE is right out)

Now, back to my friend. His illness was brought on by himself. He will tell you as much if you ask him. However, he has friends that he has asked to carry out certain wishes at his death. I have very few friends. Only one of which would actually be welcomed at my viewing (MAYBE two). So I must find a way NOW to instruct people LATER.

TECHNICALLY this is where the Advanced Care Directive comes in. However. The primary force in my life would likely refuse to assist me in this, as I have failed to do as they wish so often in life, far be it I disobey them in death.

So here it is. For the entire internet to see. My wishes regarding Shanie Post Mortem.

If you've read this far, I request you continue. I want as many people to see this as possible.


There will NOT (read again NOT) be any form of Christian funeral. I will be generous and allow there to be a Christian prayer and what not at the viewing. Just make it a general one. I am not "GOING TO HEAVEN" that is not in my plans. And believe me when I say *MY* idea of my creator is far different than anyone elses in that room.

SO HELP ME if there is a rosary in my hand, crosses around my picture, or any form of Christian symbolism on my headstone, I will wake my zombie ass up and kill everyone in that room.

Thus is the problem with being the only pagan in a strict catholic family.


I WILL be buried with my pendant. It WILL be around my neck. Anyone who knows me knows which one. In the event that some tramautic death incident has damaged the cord, replace it and put it back around my throat. The pendant itself is solid nickle. Dust that baby off and stick it on me. Also if you could find some way to put my teddy bear in that coffin I would be much abliged. I'll appreciate the company. If not, GIVE HER TO GOODWILL. Do NOT under ANY circumstances stick her on a shelf for sentimental value. I want Lizzie to be loved and cherished. NOT kept in hiding.


This is another one of those I will wake my ass up and kill people ones. There is to be absolutely NO fighting from EITHER group at my viewing. In fact, I'll do you one better. Two days of viewing. Day ONE for family ONLY. Day TWO for FRIENDS only.

If only one day can be made, NO FIGHTING. There will be absolutely NO talk of who ruined me or who made me a monster. *I* chose my path. Nobody made me who I am. Also, Smith family, try to be civil, both with yourselves and my family. I know that I was firmly on the fence in a few different of your wars, but I don't want a scene over me, 'K?

Also, Mike Smith. I don't care WHAT your little brother is doing to my body. I TRUST HIM. Let him channel all the energies he wants, I'll most likely be better for it. (Unless of course he is somehow DIRECTLY responsible for my death, in which case, go ahead and do the rituals yourself.)


Ok, Clothes, give those to St Vincent D'Paul. I may not be Christian, but they run a damn fine thrift store that desperatly needs a bigger plus sized section. My stuff will be a fine edition.

Computer - Eh, my parents can have it.

Furnature - Whatever.

NAIL POLISH COLLECTION - Goes to Patti. My family knows who that is. She can sort out what is usable and not, and do whatever she likes with it.

Books - Those go to LUCY. Lura, you have more than enough. Besides you get...

ACTION FIGURES - yup. Lura, you can have those. Please don't sell them. Put them in a box till you get your own place then find a shelf or something. Actually, seeing as how they take up three shelves now...

Magic Cards - John Hatfield. My one friend. Not like I have much of value, but he'll appreciate the thought.

Speaking of Magic...

MAGICAL ITEMS - Sorry, Mike. ALL of this goes to RUSS. Well, again, unless he did it. If he did, you can have them Mike.

Finally ...

Wall Decorations - Posters, swords (NOT the Kit Rae, that's a Magical Item), Pictures, the sconce, all that. GLEN. Awesome-San I shall give this to you simply because you said nobody over college age should have them. Well, guess what. Now YOU have them. And I would feel REAAAAAAAALY sad if you sold them ;)

The rest of my stuff you may do with as you please.

Really, I don't know how much more post mortem there is. If I could I would request a pentacle on my headstone or something, but that would be pushing it.

Anyway, these are my wishes. And to the probably ONE person who read the whole way through this (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) I thank you.

Now to try and make this all official. Anyone got ideas? Leave a comment.


Melissa -Shanie- Jeckavitch

(no subject)

In Darkest Day, and Blackest Night
My soul will find a way.
In pale moonlight, and fire bright
My will has come to stay.
And as it is, so shall it be
All things shall enter onto me.
As I am One, for soon there's none
And everyone will see.
I am the wild, I am the wurm,
I am the One of all.
So it will pass, mine at last
This world shall come to fall.

- unknown

Date My Avatar

Writer's Block: Live action hero

Which is your favorite or least favorite comic book-turned-movie?

Ah damn. Well, I thought I could put the entry off a bit longer, then this popped up. So I suppose it is time to reveal my activities of late.

BTW, pay no mind to the hotness that is my Icon for this post. It is only Felicia Day in all her Avatar glory. Dear GODDESS I would totally hit that. However it has nothing to do with this post. Turns out, I don't have an icon for everything I write... YET.


I wish I could say X-Men First Class. However, I did NOT have the privileged of watching that in theaters, so I can't. Instead, I can claim the movie I watched (FINALLY) in lovely Blu-ray on the 'rents massive home theater unit over the weekend.

Iron Man

Sweet JEEBUS RDJ owns my soul. Why was I not informed of his hotness prior to this. (I lie. I was informed. REPEATEDLY. I simply chose to ignore it.)

The snark alone could have won me over, but no. They had to pair it with that level of SMEXY goodness. I have the second one waiting at the house to be watched before Friday.

However, that is not all.

Because I rented *3* movies.

Iron Man, Iron Man 2, and... Sherlock Holmes.

Collapse )
Neil Close Up

See this? Learn it!

001. Mistakes 002. Heartfelt 003. Fading Away 004. Spirit 005. Choose
006. Immortal 007. Open Your Eyes 008. Electrify 009. Starlight 010. Sacrifice
011. Honour 012. Bite 013. Commit 014. Fake 015. Tender
016. Trouble 017. Final 018. Waiting 019. Awareness 020. Turn Away
021. Searching 022. Hands of Fate 023. Irresistable 024. Easy 025. Breathing
026. Stumble 027. Fighting 028. Closing In 029. Involved 030. Destiny
031. Sweet 032. Calling 033. Nightmare 034. Flat 035. Superstar
036. Spider Web 037. Haunted 038. Rich 039. Everybody 040. Meant No Harm
041. Apple 042. Darling 043. Name 044. By My Side 045. Mountains
046.Writer's Choice 047.Writer's Choice 048.Writer's Choice 049.Writer's Choice 050.Writer's Choice

Learn it. Love it. DO IT!

That's what I have decided. It's from 100_prompts.

Yeah yeah, I did those ones for Who back when. Now I'm trying a table for Sherlock. Plus, I haven't made ANY Sherlock gifs ever, or really ANY gifs PERIOD in awhile! So, here goes. I'm tackling a table.

Wish me luck!
Ten Gun

So, yeah. Times are rough in Shanieville

So I totally spaced on a last minute time change on therapy appt today. Showed up at the original time. Whoops.

Also, I am SO tired, due to having to be up early. See, there was a slight cave-in in my bedroom closet. If any of you know the site Learn From My Fail, my story is on the main page. I say story, it's really just a blurb. Basically, last week I noticed a small crack in my bedroom closet ceiling. I called the landlord, who was headed out of town. He said not to worry about it. I didn't. Thursday evening, I heard an almighty crash come from the bedroom. I went to investigate, but found nothing out of place. So, I decided it was just something from next door. (I live in an apt building).

Saturday, I went to open my bedroom closet, and found the ceiling ON THE BLOODY FLOOR. Well, floor, shelves, clothes, totes. There was a large hole in my ceiling where it had fallen through, looking up into the roof. And EVERYTHING was soaked and dirty.

Anyway, that was Saturday. I've been living with a hole in my closet since then. Finally today, they got around to beginning repair work. (No rush guys, really. It's only rained four times since then...) All morning I had to listen to them fixing the roof. I am not a fan of being denied sleep.

I guess they finished, because they are gone now. Next is the interior. The closet needs fixing from the inside as well.

In other news, I have been about four weeks without a car. It is too humid to walk anywhere (Not that there is much to do within walking distance), so I have been holed up in my apt. It is driving me bonkers. The fuggin walls are closing in on me. I have Lizzie for company, and that is about it.  I want to go to the Dollar Tree to pick up some necessities, Family Video to nab a movie, the Mall to buy a book... then again, all that requires money, which I am not permitted to have. (Don't even get me started on that)

Awesome-san pointed out something yesterday. He said that I am basically living in my parent's basement... it just happens to be down the street a ways. They control when and where I can go outside of it, they (basically) control all my income and spending, They come and go as they please from my place, and if there is ever an issue with the apt, they must be involved with it. Hell, the only reason I ever got this apartment was because they are good friends with the landlords. Any decisions regarding the place must clear my parents as well as them. No it's NOT legal, but then my landlords have never really let that get in the way of any of their decisions in the past, why should they now.


I have no real independence.

I hate my life.

And people wonder why I spend all my time on the computer, in the virtual world. Do you really blame me?
Crouching five

Well, I'm back up to paid status...

Had some extra money (not really) and decided to get my account back up to paid for a bit.

Like the theme? I thought it appropriate.

But Shanie - how is it appropriate?

Simple. As you all know I have a MASSIVE thing for Who. Doctor, Doctor, Jack, and all that. But lately, I've been immersing myself in Moffat's OTHER show...

Collapse )